So many times in life it seems success is defined through the end result, not the journey. It doesnt matter how long you have trained or prepared for a race unless you walk away with a sparkling gold medal then your efforts go unseen. I have had a few major lessons in this throughout my life but tonight I was reminded of this very thought. If you were to ask me one of my weaknesses in life I would say loud and clear "baking." I am terrible at baking, it doesnt matter if its the cooking that are pre-cut and all you have to do is drop them on the pan I still find a way to mess them up.
Now I know I'm terrible at baking but I still would like to improve over my life and get better at it everytime I try. I'm not ok with being bad, I dont have to be great at everything but if I can do better then why not try, why stay the same and become "ok" with just being not good as something. Why not work so hard at it that maybe eventually you will no longer be bad but ok. I might never get to be as good as Cathy Waddell or some of those awesome bakers you see on t.v. but after tonight, any improvement will be a major milestone in my case :) Since Macie's Birthday is tomorrow and she has never celebrated a birthday at school tonight we decided to make "Hello Kitty" cupcakes for her to take and share with her Kindergarten class. Now cupcakes are my thing, I'm not awesome but I can handle them. Moral of the story I should have stopped with the cupcakes but no, I decided since I had some extra batter I would make a little cake for us to have at home tomorrow evening with dinner. First I chose a round pan then thought that was boring so I dug out the heart shaped one we have crammed away in the cupboard, but then a light bulb came on in my head and I thought " I can put the round pan and two cupcakes together to make the shape of a cat for "Hello Kitty" then use sprinkles and candy for the decorations. I was so excited and worked so hard to suprise Macie with this amazing "Hello Kitty" cake. I had frosting up to my elbows, sprinkles stuck to my feet and dishes piled everywhere then I was finally finished and BAM, I looked down and this is what I saw:
By far the worst "Hello Kitty" cake I have ever seen in my life. It was so bad you couldnt even tell it was a cake to be honest. In that moment I wanted to break down and cry uncontrolably because I worked so hard and was so excited to suprise Macie and then regardless of my efforts I failed. It was nauseating honestly, it was that bad. After I looked at it for a few minutes though I had to start laughing, partially because if not I was going to have a meltdown right on the kitchen floor covered in rainbow icing and sprinkles but also because I knew it was that hideous it was funny.
Sometimes when we fail in life though its not that easy to laugh it off is it?? We feel like we did everything we could and put so much effort forward even if we knew it wasnt our strongest point in life we still tried and to fail its a hard pill to swallow. I remember back in College I took a Youth Leader position. At the time I was super young, a Junion at MVNU, it was my first real job let alone church job and I gave it everything I had. When I resigned from my position a year later I felt like a failure and it took me years to get over that. I felt like I was never good enough and hadnt become what they expected of me. I had to come to a point though where I realized all the good things that happened throughout my time in that position and although man may not have seen my efforts as success I was there for exactly what God wanted me to do and I felt confident I did just that so I was successful. If I were to look back at my time as the Youth Leader now I am proud at all that was accomplished. I tried hard and did all that i could with what I knew and I think thats all God expected from me.
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (AMP) "With this in view we constantly pray for you, that our God may deem and count you worthy of [your] calling and [His] every gracious purpose of goodness, and with power may complete in [your] every particular work of faith (faith which is that leaning of the whole human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness). There will be many times in life where you will work and prepare so hard for a journey and not get the prize at the end but don't allow that to define your success. I made a terrible, trashy worthy cake but it made Macie smile and I tried. I knew before I started, it probably wasnt going to be a prize cake but I went ahead and tried anyways. Its not about always winning but about being willing to keep trying and put in the effort regardless of how short you may fall or how unsuccessful others may see you as. Philippians 3:13-14 "Reaching forward to those things which are ahead, straining toward what is ahead I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
There is nothing-no circumstance, no trouble, no-testing that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a GREAT PURPOSE, which I may not understand at the moment. As I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret-for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is- that is the rest of VICTORY!!!!