There is nothing-no circumstance, no trouble, no-testing that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a GREAT PURPOSE, which I may not understand at the moment. As I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret-for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is- that is the rest of VICTORY!!!!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Responsibility Chart.....

“You did it, awesome, job well done” are phrases that decorate the colorful circles next to the tasks completed for that day. A little piece of motivation for Macie and a way for Mommy and Daddy to stay organized is the reason behind the “Responsibility Chart” that now hangs in the kitchen.

Over the past few months Scott and I have talked on numerous occasions about setting into place a system for chores and allowance for Macie but we just never could come up with the right one. My sister got a “Responsibility Chart” for Christmas for her family and when I saw hers it sparked within me the motivation to try the same setup for our family. A little wooden chart I picked up at a nearby store has a plethora of chores and categories that fit magnetically on the chart and each day when those responsibilities are fulfilled you place a wooden token next to the task. Macie was super excited and could hardly wait to start it so we hung it proudly in the kitchen, picked out the responsibilities she would need to fulfill, and we were ready to go. Last night though as I was passing out wooden tokens for a great job done next to Monday’s list of tasks I felt a little guilty and convicted. I thought about this long list of responsibilities we are asking Macie to fulfill and honestly they are pretty simple and the chart is meant to remind her and help reward her efforts but what occurred to me is that there are areas in my own life even as an adult that I need to be reminded of daily.

As adults we don’t have “responsibility charts” hanging to remind us each day but isn’t that what accountability is meant to do? Part of accountability is that you don’t want to disappoint the other person; part of Macie’s chore chart is that she wants to complete each task everyday so we will be proud and she knows if she doesn’t get all of them completed we will be disappointed and she will be held accountable for that. In an effort to work on areas of my life and to help be a witness for Macie I decided I would add a category on the chart for myself and each day I would let Macie reward me with a token based on whether I complete my task for that day. The task I chose for myself is reading my Bible. 

Honestly I hate to admit it but there were more days than I would like to think where I didn’t read my Bible this past year and I didn’t give God the time He deserves each day. Life gets crazy and it’s easy to find ourselves running from activity to activity and getting caught up in everything else and God often gets pushed aside and our time with Him can be put on the back burner. I would like to say as the new year starts that I am going to complete my task every single day and will have a rainbow of colored wooden tokens next to my name for that task but I have to say that if it’s based on past habits there will be days I won’t complete it and those days will be devastating and I will be held accountable for that. I went back and forth on whether or not this would be a good idea considering my accountability partner is my 8 year old J But I came to the conclusion that I would go to great lengths in this life rather than disappoint my husband and my daughter and I want to teach Macie that I’m not perfect, I’m human and I have faults and imperfections. I want her to know that as an adult, as a mommy, as a wife and as a woman of Christ I have the “responsibility” to spend time in my Bible and to put forth effort each day working on my relationship with God. I want to show her that I need to be reminded and held accountable and that when I don’t do what I’m supposed to and I don’t read my Bible that it’s disappointing and has consequences. 

As 2014 approaches are there areas in your life that you need to be held accountable? Do you feel like you have a list of expectations for others around you but yet you find yourself falling short and not meeting those same expectations? I am a visual person and I love being organized so maybe the motivating factor of seeing the wooden chart hanging in the kitchen will be enough to help push me to be consistent in my tasks, regardless I am thankful for a God that knows my faults, that knows I have fallen short in the past and that I will fall short in the future but He still loves me anyway. 

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace” Acts 20:24

Friday, December 13, 2013

Running the Race.....

As I sit anxiously awaiting the news I was called to my Aunts house for I had played out a million scenarios at this point. You would laugh hysterically at my final conclusion; just know it includes a will and her giving me her kids which wasn’t the case lol. Moments later with a few family members and a friend looking on I was handed a box and told to open it. Once again the nerves began to creep inside but when I opened it I was amazed and overjoyed. As I opened the box I found a logo for the first “Kickin Crohn’s 5k” in honor me and my family to be held May 31, 2014. The words left me in that moment and once again I was reminded of how incredibly blessed we are.
Someone tonight expressed to me what an inspiration she felt I was because of my journey and my initial reaction to her was that “it’s amazing what you will do when you have to do it.” There are some days I think my circumstances are no big deal and others where I feel like the end of the journey seems out of sight but regardless I remind myself the reason I fight. 

I fight because I have a precious daughter who 8 years ago God decided to bless my life with and from the moment I first heard her heart beating I made a vow to always love, protect and fight for her. Some days it may mean fighting for her over a mean kid at school, others it may be on the sidelines of a sporting event but right now it’s to fight this difficult disease physically and to show her that regardless of how big the giant looks in front of you that you NEVER give up because we serve and love a God who is bigger than our circumstances and who conquered the grave of sin and death and is real and present in our lives every day and with Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

I fight because I have a husband who is patient and loving and has been handed a difficult journey with me and yet he does it and not because he has to but because that’s what a man of God with integrity and commitment does to show unconditional love to his wife.

I fight because there are so many friends and family who have cheered on the sidelines for me and helped lift me to my feet when I wanted to give up on the race. 

I fight because there are so many who fight the same devastating disease every single day and need a cure just like I do.

Most importantly I fight because this is the race I have been called to run and we haven’t crossed the finish line yet and God hasn’t finished His work in and through me………but is just beginning.

Hebrews 12:2 “let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Blanket of Grace....

It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s messy and inconvenient but then again it’s a matter of perspective. Yep I’m talking about snow. I have friends that get giddy at the slightest dusting of snow and others whom are filled with dread as winter draws near each year like I have been for so long. It’s something that has taken me many years to figure out how much our perspective can alter things, but I am thankful for this new found appreciation, especially because winter is just beginning and the snow has only began to fall. I must admit whenever I hear the weatherman talking about snow potentially falling in our area I too get giddy inside. I now find joy and excitement in snow days home with my loves curled up in fuzzy blankets and watching Christmas movies. I find joy and excitement in hot cocoa and peppermint mocha's which always taste even more hot and delicious with a cold blanket of fresh snow peeking through my windows. But it hit me recently the joy and excitement I find because the snow reminds me of God’s grace and love.

"Come now, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool” Isaiah 1:18.

It was there in the midst of my brokenness, imperfections, and sin I found myself a prisoner to my circumstances. In that moment I allowed my heart to welcome Jesus inside and instantly it was if a fresh blanket of refreshing snow fell over my life and cleansed me from the depths of my being so that every sin was forgiven, every ounce of dirt was removed, and a hope was replaced within my heart for a future filled with promise and joy. There is something so sweet and beautiful about God’s grace that regardless of how messy our lives are or how long the list of our transgressions there is nothing that can ever separate us from God’s unconditional love. I am so thankful today for the snow and it’s pureness, I am thankful for the reminder that even in the moments I feel inadequate and the enemy tries to remind me of my failures that God can send a fresh blanket of snow on my heart to cover it with His grace and love and refresh my soul and remind me of the future He has planned for me with hope and promises filled for good.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE!!!