As the blood drains slowly from my fingers and the lifelessness begins to fade, the circulation is cut off and the paleness sets in I feel as if I’m quickly losing my grip, but somehow, somewhere strength burst forth from within the depths of my being and push me past the point of exhaustion enough to hold on a little bit longer.
When I started blogging 8 months ago one of the promises I made within my heart was that regardless of how ugly or beautiful the truth was and the place in life that I was in I would be honest and just share the raw realness of where I am at and what the Lord is showing me. The past month has been difficult, one of the most difficult times for me physically, emotionally and spiritually. Being in the hospital and so far away I was separated from my husband, my daughter, family, friends, and probably hardest was my church. I quickly realized that being cut off from thing after thing that helped nurture my heart and soul is a very lonely place. The beautiful thing is that even when I missed Sunday after Sunday of Church God still continued to show up in that hospital room and pour His presence on me. In the darkness of the nights when I wanted to be home cuddled next to my husband God met me there. But I will be honest even though I prayed, even though I continued to trust Gods plans for my journey there was another side competing for my attention also, and in those lonely moments Satan is very good at working on your weaknesses.