Seeing this it melted my heart and was a reminder to me about how often life wears us down. We feel like we go through the motions everyday of busyness and chaos and although we have joyous things we also experience hardships and sometimes it just gets exhausting. I remember a specific time in my life and it was a year and a half ago. I had just had my second emergency surgery in 8 months and was at a pretty low point in my life. I am sharing this because the Lord has delivered me from this period in my life and I really feel like someone will understand exactly what I mean today. I was miserable to wake up each day in the same circumstance. I kept thinking it was all a dream, that when I woke up in the morning I wouldn't be in physical pain anymore, I wouldn't have a giant wound and iv tubes connected to me. I would be able to go throughout my day like a normal 27 year old, I would be able to cook, clean, play with my daughter but I couldn't. For months I lived in this place of really feeling miserable, I never lost hope and always told myself that although I didn't want to feel like that any longer I had to for my daughters sake and that nothing lasts forever.
I know this sounds so basic but literally I remember waking up in the morning and the realization hitting me that nothing had changed and just sobbing because I didn't know how I would face another day like that. Scott can testify to this and was an amazing support for me during those difficult times. I remember coming to a point though where I just cried out to God and said "ok I give up, I can't do this anymore I need you to pick me up and carry me through this time." It was the same desperate plea that Macie gave her daddy this weekend when her little legs were so tired from the journey she had been facing that day, she just needed him to intervene, pick her up and carry her the rest of the way. For me it was about just getting by each day for awhile as best as I could. It was about trusting that God would sustain me in each moment, whatever that meant. Maybe it meant a good nights sleep, a painless visit from the nurse, a bath to feel refreshed, literally I lived off the little moments to carry me through to a time where the load was a little easier.
I admire the support so many people have given us but I felt like I needed to share this story today because I'm not superwoman, I try to be optimistic and strong through the difficulties life throws our way but I have had many moments of weakness myself. I am the person I am today and I face the situations in front of us today with optimism because I know where we have been before, I know what I have gone through physically and emotionally and although it could always be better I remember many dark times where things were much worse and I will praise my Jesus for that. I will praise my Jesus because seasons in life are only temporary and God will always provide what we need to sustain us in that moment. Lamentations 3:22-23"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Whatever you are facing right now just know you don't have to do it on your own. You may feel wiped out, exhausted, not sure how you will get up in the morning and live the pain you are facing in your life another day. I don't know what your going through but I know that nothing can last forever. If you can get up each day and place your life in the hands of Jesus and trust Him to pick you up and carry you for awhile, allow Him to give you a break from walking the journey on your own feet alone, allow Him to be your strength. Like a father does for His child God wants to do for us His children, in our times of weakness and desperation He longs for us to turn to Him and say "please pick me up and carry me daddy I can't walk anymore I'm so tired."
It doesn't mean your days will instantly change but it will mean that you don't have to do it anymore on your own strength alone. It may mean just doing whatever you can to make it through the day and searching for whatever little moments you can each day to offer little flickers of hope in the darkness. I promise you if you hang on joy will come, seasons don't last forever and are only temporary. Thank You Jesus for where you have brought me and what You have brought me through, You have turned my mourning into dancing!