Father's Day for the Fatherless
"A Father has enormous power. About this, he has no choice. For good or bad, by his presence or absence, action or inaction, whether abusive or nurturing, the fact remains; a Father is one of the most powerful beings on the face of the earth." Ken Canfield
Unless you live under a rock I'm sure you have seen the constant barrage of Father's Day Announcements, sale ads, or reminders. From Bbqs to golf equipment, greeting cards to tools, there is no shortage of gift ideas to express your love and appreciation on Father's Day. For me, Fathers Day is always a bittersweet day each year. I circled and highlighted that special day in my calendar this year but as it approaches I find myself experiencing a whole range of emotions from excitement to sadness. You see that bittersweet feeling I mentioned comes from a place of celebration but also pain. That bitter hurt is because I haven't seen my own father for the last 18 years. When I was 10 my parents were divorced. My father an alcoholic struggled my entire life with his addiction and was in and out of our lives for the next 7-8 years following my parents divorce. I remember the last visit I had with my dad, I was 18 and my sisters and I were so excited to visit him because he had just moved into a new place. We spent the day shopping for things for his house and went grocery shopping filling the carts with junk food and all the ingredients necessary so I could make a nice steak dinner for the 4 of us. We had the best time, we laughed and played but then when night came my dad decided to walk to the bar and drink. That was the last visit I remember with my dad. Its been 18 years since that day and on most days I don't think much about it, but on the big days & milestones in life it's hard not to think about him. The day I married my husband my dad wasn't there to walk me down the aisle. The day my daughter was born my dad wasn't there to meet his grandaughter and has still never met her. I've come to realize over time thought that is not even him I miss anymore but the idea of having a father in my life and yet being reminded that mine isn't that father I imagine or even need.
Now the sweet and beautiful part comes in because the Father I get to witness my husband Scott be to our daughter is absolutely amazing. That's one of my most favorite characteristics of Scott. He works hard to provide for his family yet he still finds time to be invested in Macie's life. He cares about her fears, hopes, dreams and struggles. He instills discipline and hard work and models that each day. He helps to nurture her intelligence and pursue her ambitions. He really cares about her future and helps her to prepare for it now so that someday it will be bright and fruitful. Most of all I see the love that he has for her. A love that is patient, kind, does not envy nor boast. It is not proud, he works hard to honor her and not be selfish or angered easily and in the process he keeps no record of her wrongs. He loves with truth and protects, hopes and perseveres no matter what life throws our way.
Now the sweet and beautiful part comes in because the Father I get to witness my husband Scott be to our daughter is absolutely amazing. That's one of my most favorite characteristics of Scott. He works hard to provide for his family yet he still finds time to be invested in Macie's life. He cares about her fears, hopes, dreams and struggles. He instills discipline and hard work and models that each day. He helps to nurture her intelligence and pursue her ambitions. He really cares about her future and helps her to prepare for it now so that someday it will be bright and fruitful. Most of all I see the love that he has for her. A love that is patient, kind, does not envy nor boast. It is not proud, he works hard to honor her and not be selfish or angered easily and in the process he keeps no record of her wrongs. He loves with truth and protects, hopes and perseveres no matter what life throws our way.
“Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”
1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7 AMP
When I first became a follower of Jesus people would talk about Christ as being our heavenly father, but for me I didn't understand right away. "My earthly father abandoned me and let me down over and over and yet your saying my heavenly father never will?" It took me many years to realize that regardless of the way my earthy father had disappointed me and hurt me that my heavenly father never would! As Father's Day approaches maybe your super excited to celebrate your earthly father. Maybe your celebrating a father-in-law or a spouse. Or maybe seeing that day circled on your calendar this week brings sadness or pain because you have lost your father due to death or an experience like mine. Regardless of whichever emotion you are feeling still give yourself permission to feel those feelings. If it's pain and sadness your feeling then allow yourself the grace to grieve that loss, and if it's joy your feeling then allow yourself to burst at the seems in celebration. Be reminded though that through Jesus we can have hope. Through Jesus we can have joy and through Jesus He can redeem all things. Because of Him I never have to experience a Fatherless Father's Day ever again!
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