Sitting in church yesterday the magic light bulb popped on. You know the kind I’m talking about that sits dangling over a person’s head on t.v. and you can see it lit up? I almost wanted to look up to see if it was visible to others around me it was so clear. A moment where I realized a huge mistake I have been making and the urgency to change.
Worship had just finished and our Pastor had taken the pulpit for his message and as he was preaching (without trying to embarrass her to much) I looked over at his wife and noticed this huge smile on her face, you could tell she was proud of him. I thought back to the moments right before because one of the guys that help lead worship is my husband and as I’m standing there every Sunday morning and I see him up there playing guitar worshiping Christ through the gift God has given him my heart overflow’s with joy and I am reminded of how proud I am of him. The same goes for when he talks to me about some scientific this or that in which I am totally clueless and I just look at him amazed at how intelligent he is and once again I am proud of him. I am proud of him when I see him providing financially for our family, I am proud of him as a father who cherishes his daughter and treats her like a princess and I am proud of him mostly as a husband who loves me in my very unlovable moments and with no conditions and this is the one I fail to tell him how proud I am the most I think.
See the light bulb moment was guilt that although I have pride overflowing in my heart for my husband I never allow it to flow out through my words and tell him. I may feel proud in my heart for all the great things he does but I fail to tell him and affirm him. Our daughter Macie is 8 and we think she is amazing. She is beautiful, talented and intelligent and both her daddy and I tell her often how proud we are of her but we sometimes forget as adults we need to know that people are proud of us to, especially our spouses, our safe place. My prayer this week is to lift my husband up more in words and not tear him down. To really share the proudness in my heart for the things that his does with words.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”