Seasons of beauty....

The past week and a half has been a crazy whirlwind. In the roaring moments of chaos that have surrounded me I have found comfort in the beauty of the things not seen but unseen. If we focus on whats right in front of us its easy to be overwhelmed, anxious, scared and that is a perfect battle ground for Satan to get a foothold in our lives. If he can distract us by everything going on then we aren't seeing the hope of where we are going.

Over the past few weeks I have been given a couple boquets of flowers by friends that have touched my heart beyond words. They are gorgeous but as they begin to wilt we focus less on their beauty. After the one arrangement of roses died I pulled all the petals back to expose a little yellow middle that I had never seen before. I had never seen the fulness of a rose bloom and it was beautiful. The second arrangement was tulips and I got them when I first went itno the hospital and they were initially closed and not bloomed yet but over the course of a few days it was the most beautiful sight watching the petals open and reach toward the sunshine, exposing the most beautiful colors and identity. These simple moments for me have a reminder of the journey we each are on. There are seasons in life and its easy to get caught up in the moment but when you truly sit back and tack it all in the hope of what is ahead can place within you a peace, passion, and drive.

Its been hard being away from home for 11 days now and feeling so miserable but the Lord is showing me that I can't focus on the negative distractions of this moment. I can't get overwhelmed because I'm not home to be at Macies Cheer Games, or Scotts Basketball Games, I can't worry about the house needing cleaned and organized, I can't worry about all the crazyness Satan will try to entangle me with because my focus is ahead on the cross and the victory thats already been won. Because of that victory my life is a story and can be used for a purpose to further the kingdom of Christ. All you can do is trust for his sufficiency for each moment and focus on the purpose ahead and not the chaos of the moment.

Whatever you are going through right now, whatever chaos is creeping in, whatever uncertaintities you may have ahead remind yourself that this is just a season, nothing is forever. Like the beautiful flower arrangements there is a place of beauty to be discovered with each phase and you have to find that,, hold on to it and ask God what He wants you use it for.

Messy hands.....

There is a common phrase that says “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” A phrase that caught my attention today through the small marker stained hands of my precious daughter. Giggles, a game of tic-tac-toe and cartoons were hot on the agenda of things to do today. As I take my turn and place a letter “O” on the game board I am captured by the details of such messy beauty. Hands that contain blue nail polish haphazardly applied, colors of red, pink, orange, and yellow marker and a Barbie tattoo to top it off I have to just sit and smile at the moment. A veil is then lifted and I see the beauty behind the mess, the story that my daughters tiny hands tell of grace and faithfulness. The stains on her hands show evidence of hard work and abandon to a masterpiece from within her heart, and I am thankful. To have such devotion to a cause that paints a beautiful picture bigger than myself comes from deep within. 

I pray that my life would reflect the messiness of Crayola stained hands ,that my heart would show childlike faith and surrender to whatever it is God has called me to display for His glory. I pray that my story will reflect a God who is bigger than the task at hand but who has continually shown His faithfulness in my battles and brought beauty and healing to my heart. I pray that Jesus would be the cause in which I diligently pursue and His presence would illuminate from every part of my being. I pray that I would be so saturated in His Spirit that my life would be stained with His love and leave a mark on all those I come in contact with. Your life tells a story, the hues of color emerge from the trials, triumphs and restoration that God has instilled throughout the pages. What stains would you reflect, what masterpiece are you allowing God to create through you? 

“You give me Your shield of victory, and Your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles turn….Arm me with strength for the battle; make my adversary bow at my feet. Make my enemy turn back in flight. Thank You, God! One day You will utterly destroy my foe.” (Psalm 18:35-36, 39-40)

Held.....

Tucking Macie into bed a few nights ago, through those sleepy blue eyes and quiet voice I hear “mommy will you play with my hair.” As I ran my fingers slowly through the silky strands of her coconut scented hair I could see the peace wash over her. There is something about that place of vulnerability where regardless of how busy her day was, just having me sit close to her and feeling my touch, my protection and my love sends calmness throughout her little body. As her little eyelids began to flutter she was taken away from the chaos into a place of rest. 

It had been a crazy day for me and that moment with my precious Macie was a reminder of Gods constant love, protection and embrace. In the moments where I need an escape from the world He is always there to hold me in His arms and send that moment of peace and calmness throughout my entire body, releasing every care, every burden, every ounce of pain and exhaustion and reminding me that I can rest safely in His midst. Psalm 91:1-4 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty^. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. “Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” These verses paint such a beautiful picture in my head. When life’s chaos is blowing around you and beating harshness against your weakened body you can safely climb beneath the wings of an almighty God who surrounds you and sustains you. “This is what it means to be loved, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive. This is what it means to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fails we’d be held.” 

There are often moments, circumstances and trials we face in life that we can’t make sense of. I often wonder why I have to deal with such a difficult disease and face trial after trial. I am learning that when my strength is gone, when my mind is filled with fear, uncertainty and sorrow that there is always a God there to hold me. I am thankful tonight that I can rest in the strong arms of Christ and be held. I am thankful that when I need to get away from the chaos and find rest in my weariness that I can always count on a hiding place in His loving arms. 

Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.”