Waiting.....

I think sometimes one of the hardest seasons in life can be no season at all but instead the in between stage. The stage where you really aren't sure one way or the other and so you just wait. Maybe because I'm not a very patient person or just because I'm human but I really struggle with the waiting game. You know that gap between possibilities and absolutes that we can get stuck in, the place where our mind and heart have freedom to wander and and try on many different endings. Its like a movie that you can choose alternate endings. You find one you like a little better than the other so in your mind the director should have chosen that as the final product but he decided something else would fit better.

Although its difficult I am learning that the waiting game can be one of the absolute best places to be in, its a place where you dont' really have a definite answer and so you still have the option to pick which one you think is ideal. Its a place where you can allow Satan to have control and throw negativity your way to consume you or you can choose to be hopeful and choose the happier ending even if in all reality it may turn out to be something different. Its a place of fear, hope, uncertanity but still a place where you can still wonder and pray for the better solution. Its a place where miracles are still possible and total surrender to God is your lifeline. When your waiting at the doctors office or in line for a rollar coaster that period of anticipation can be overwhelming but ultimatly there comes a point of no return, a point where the doctor calls you back or you are strapped on that metal coaster seat and you realize it is what is is. You realize if you chicken out they are not going to stop that rollar coaster halfway lurching up the gigantic hill or regardless of how scared you are the results the doctor has on the page in front of him will not change. There is a point of no return a point of facing the journey ahead and realizing this is it.

The few times I have been on an airplace I remember experiencing this slight moment of panic when the giant door is locked tightly shut and all seat belts are fastened, its the moment where you know  you are stuck, you aren't going anywhere you are on the plane until you reach the end destination. Regardless of how scared you may get you are in flight and thats it, no turning back. I think we can all face times in life where we feel like there is a point of no return. A point where you can never get back the feelings you felt before an event happened, a diagnosis came, a baby was born, the loss of a loved one. Its ultimatly a moment that literally changes everything, you can choose to allow that moment of reckoning to make you a better person and cling more to Christ or you can allow Satan to throw you into bondage when things don't happen the way you would have chosen. It may sound so cliche' but "it is what it is." The way you react ins't going to change anything, the circumstances will not be altered by how you feel but how you feel can alter the way you look at things and the way that you face those things. Whatever that moment is for you in life maybe even in 2012, bask in the unknown and be reminded that in those moments of uncertainty you can choose to allow God to have the victory in the ending or Satan. Even if an alternate ending is chosen that does not have to beat the person you are and the power of Jesus.

"I'm waiting I'm waiting on You Lord and I am hopeful, I'm waiting on you Lord though it is painful, patiently I will wait.