Over the past few weeks we had a huge battle with unknown health stuff. I know my friends will attest to this by saying there were many moments I didn't do so well with "having faith and trusting in the unknown" and was a major basket case and worry wart. Even now I still struggle with the battle we are possibly facing ahead with surgery and some other things and when I sit and think about it all I get so overwhelmed I can hardly breath. I feel like there is no way I can ever do it all and as if its a losing battle. In those moments its easy to loose sight and forget that if God has brought you to something He will surely never leave you but instead help guide you through whatever is ahead. He has promised us that, " There is nothing-no circumstance, no trouble, no-testing that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a GREAT PURPOSE, which I may not understand at the moment. As I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret-for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is- that is the rest of VICTORY!!!!"
At church on Sunday during the sermon I noticed that although there was a projector screen directly in front of me to see the notes from Pastors sermon I was following the images on the screen across the room instead. Why? because for me to see the one closest to me I had to turn my eyes just slightly and it didn't seem as comfortable and a little awkward. But it was easier for me to look at what was farther away only because of comfort. How often do we look at all the things ahead in our lives and focus on them so much just because we feel like we can control it and we can set the terms of what the future holds? Although it may be scary we find comfort in what we can control. Instead of turning our eyes from the future and focusing on the now, in fear it maybe be a little uncomfortable, we continue to look whats ahead. I find myself often worrying or dreaming about things to come that I miss out on what is going on now.
Its hit me lately that while I'm looking ahead there is still life happening right in front of me and if I don't wake up and pay attention to the moments now that are going on I will miss them, and with life there is no rewind button. The things of today will never happen again. We spend our life wishing for whats to come but forget what is. Maybe what you are facing right now isn't great and maybe you would like to dream of a time ahead instead that may be less painful, there may be better times to come but you still loose time. I am learning right now that regardless of what today may encompass they are still memories. I am learning that the hours I have today will be gone tomorrow and I can never get them back. I am learning the simplest everyday moments in life are memories we will have forever. The past 6 months has been a crazy time of new things for our family. Macie started school, dance, cheer-leading and caravan. There have been countless firsts that we have experienced and all moments that will last a lifetime. In 40 years I will look back at these times now and remember all the firsts. Its a reminder to me of why looking at each day and the blessings that they hold is so important.
One of my goals for this coming year is to really embrace each moment and focus on the "here and now" and not what could come. I don't want to miss life dreaming for the future. The future may come and if that never happens I have missed the time that I had. It may be cliche' but we truly do need to live each day like its our last. Make a bucket list of things you would like to do in this lifetime and get busy doing them. You are the only person capable of writing the pages of the story your life tells. Time is ticking and each moment is an opportunity to do something amazing!
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