Hope for tomorrow......

Eek, was all I could mutter. There were cars lined up bumper to bumper as far as I could see and when I looked in my rear view mirror it was just as jam packed. Here I am trying to get onto the main highway on a Friday afternoon in rush hour in a big city. In that moment the panic started to set in, I felt my blood begin to boil and my patience were wearing thin. I was hot, nausea's, exhausted and done and just wanted out. In my head I thought to myself "ok I can't do this, I want out." I started looking around and realized I'm stuck and there is no other way out, there is no way for me to bail and the only way is to keep going, to keep traveling through the chaos and eventually I would make it through. Every time I get ready to jump on a busy highway in heavy traffic I think to myself "what if I decided now that I didn't want to keep going and that I wanted to bail?" Unfortunately when your driving 65mph and there are cars everywhere you can't just freak out and stop in the middle of the road because your scared. You can't just bail out and the only way through the chaos is to keep going and to keep traveling through the madness.

I know there are times where I feel like this in life. I look ahead and can only see chaos, I look behind and see the aftermath of chaos and in my own strength I'm overwhelmed, exhausted and done and I feel like I want out, I feel like I need a route to bail because its just too much. In that moment though the Lord whispers in my ear “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9. In those moments God reminds me of His faithfulness and how far He has brought me and that if I trust in Him He will remain faithful and help carry me through the chaos and madness. Last year at this time I was physically, emotionally and even spiritually done. I felt like I was stuck in rush hour traffic in life and when I looked up ahead I only saw chaos and when I looked behind me I saw chaos. In the midst of deep heartache I looked down at the ground one day and cried out to the Lord and said "God I can't do this, I can't go through another single hurt and I need to know Your here" I still remember where I was standing and the feel of the air around me that day and as I looked up through tear clouded eyes I saw a butterfly gently fly by in front of me and in that moment I knew He was with me and that He would never leave me. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6.

Today as I sit curled up in my rocking chair in a fuzzy blanket with a warm mug of hot tea in my hands I think back to that day and His promises. Regardless of the place or reason, big or small whenever I see a butterfly I am reminded of how far He has brought me and how much He loves me and has purpose and good meant for my life. I am reminded that He holds each tear in the palm of His hands and uses each piece of my sorrows to sculpt together a beautiful masterpiece in His timing. Romans 8:28 "God works all things together for His good." The beautiful thing about God is that His grace is more than enough for all of my mess and for yours as well. No matter what your facing, no matter how worn out, frustrated, and stuck you feel, He is more than enough. "Through Him we are more than conquerors" Romans 8:37. Through Jesus although my life is full of chaos and difficulties I have hope for today because He has promised good for my tomorrow.