Tough Love.....

“Oh please mommy all my friends have it.” The magic phrase that shoots like a fiery dart straight towards any parent’s heart. The statement that against all others holds the most leverage in the eyes of kids because to them being like their friends is everything. This statement was thrown out in the midst of a battle against Macie vs Mommy/Daddy over TEXTING, yes you heard me right texting!

Macie through a series of events was given my old iPhone which she uses as her iPod and apparently there is an app available that allows you to put texting on your iPod. She has mentioned it before but I just shrugged it off hoping it wouldn’t turn into a “major” discussion but this week when she mentioned it again I realized it wasn’t going to be that simple. I’m still not real sure how much 8 year olds could possibly have to discuss in their lives that they need texting but for whatever the reason this was the reasoning behind yesterday’s volcanic eruption of emotions in the Cameron household complete with tears and for one of the first times ever I can remember Macie being totally ticked off at me . 

As you can imagine the eruption wasn’t the result of Macie’s joy at our answer but instead total disdain because of those two simple letters N-O.  Of course we tried the whole nice guy approach and tried reasoning with her and making her understand it wasn’t because we don’t trust her that we are saying no but it’s merely for her safety and because we don’t trust the world. Through Macie’s eyes though that wasn’t the right answer and she wasn’t satisfied with our decision and at the end of it I felt like the wicked witch of the west taping my fingers together making that creepy “I’m out to get you” laugh. I’m pretty sure on t.v. you never see it unfold like this but instead whenever the parents make a decision the kids don’t agree with they look like a superhero full of love, joy and wisdom that the kids eat up and welcome with open arms, yet somehow that’s not how it happened here. 

As I was getting a shower and ready for bed last night I just had a really heavy heart for how things had played out and I felt so bummed and frustrated with the whole situation. I wasn’t second guessing the decision Scott and I made to say no to the texting but I felt unsatisfied with how the discussion ended and the way Macie received our answer. So after a few hours had passed I decided to go upstairs and crawl in bed to her and try to talk over the situation again with her in hopes something would be resolved and she wouldn’t be mad at me anymore and I could feel the uneasiness in my heart lifted. I explained to Macie that I love her more than she could possibly ever realize and that my heart felt burdened and heavy at the thought of ever failing to protect her. I tried explaining that she was a little girl and part of texting holds great responsibility that I know she could handle in some ways and we trust her and know she is a good kid but as her mommy and daddy it’s our job to handle all that messy stuff right now while she is little and we just want her to be carefree and a kid and not have to worry about grown up stuff yet. As the conversation ended I felt better about things and prayed last night for God to give me wisdom daily to know the right answers and to do the best I could as her protector and leader to make hard decisions even when she doesn’t understand.

As I rolled out of bed this morning I noticed there was a card laying on my pillow that Macie had made for me and she placed one on Scotts pillow as well and inside she wrote:

“Dear Mom, Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I understand the point about the texting junk, again thanks J “

<3 Mac

Wow, I instantly had to hold back tears at the sight of her precious card that brought affirmation to my heart more than she could ever know. I started thinking about how often even as a grown up that my heavenly father tries to protect me from the things of this world and guide me through paths that I may not understand and how difficult that can be. There are times I would like to throw a temper tantrum and ask “why?” There are times I don’t quite get it when God says no to something I’m asking for or starting down a direction in life I feel like is right and He says no. I realized that like the battle with my precious Macie that God knows more than I know, He is wiser and loves me more than I can imagine and longs only to provide the very best blessings and future for my life and I may not see the whole picture but only have pieces to the puzzle but He does.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts” Isaiah 55:8-9

I felt this conviction fall over me that instead of fighting against His perfect will I need to be obedient to Him and with gratitude be thankful for His guidance in my life. I need to write these words on the wall of my heart:

“Dear God, thank you for trying to keep me safe I understand your point, thanks again.”

<3 Amber

“Father God, I want to thank You for Your sovereign power in my life, that You arrange all circumstances-past, present, and future-for good for me because I love You and am called according to Your purposes (Romans 8:28). It gives me great assurance and security in You to know that You know the plans You have for me. I also can rest in the fact that You want only the best for me, a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11) Help to remember that Your provision is all encompassing, Amen” Elizabeth George.