"I want to sit at Your feet drink from the cup in Your hands, lay back against you and breathe feel Your heartbeat. This love is so deep its more than I can stand, I melt in Your peace its overwhelming."
A worship song that particularly has always had a special place in my heart for the depth and beauty in which it creates. This week Dr. Steven Manley an Evangelist has spoken at the NCO Camp Meeting on what it means to have true intimacy with Christ. Its something that far surpasses anything I have ever tried to wrap my mind around. As the words poured from his mouth Wednesday evening simultaneously an unveiling took place upon my heart. We often think of our relationship with God as another friendship or even acquaintance but what I'm discovering is an even deeper level of love with Christ. Goosebumps and excitement spring forth within my soul to think that I could be so mesmerized and in love with Christ, but the greater joy is that He could be so awestruck and in love with me.
This type of relationship with Christ is so personable and intimate that you are molded together with Christ. Its about removing any separation and taking down the concept of self and instead becoming interwoven with the body of Christ. Its allowing yourself to become so saturated with Him that your mind thinks as He thinks, your hearts beats to the melody of His passions and desires, you are the skin that covers His weary body and its no longer you but Christ through you. This closeness emits the light of Christ in the darkness and seeps from every pore in your being. This type of love is a meshing with Christ, a closeness to Christ that has no line of divide from us to Him, no beginning nor end but a mere continuation of Him through us. This type of intimacy isn't a choice or option but a matter of desperation and survival. This type of intimacy doesn't improve our quality of life it's the only mode of survival. Although we are so undeserving of even sitting at His feet or serving such a majestic creator the beauty is that He allows us to be involved in a love affair with Him.
Its more than I can fathom that the God of the universe who breathed life into being wants to have a relationship with me. He wants me to pour out my dreams, passions, hurts, fears, hopes and dreams as He listens with anticipation and compassion. He wants to be molded with me as one so that together we can serve the hurting and broken. He wants to be the feet that leads us through this broken world as we are attached as the hands apart of one body. The sweetest and most comforting words is that although I am messy, broken and unworthy He still loves me.
Jesus I will never be able to begin to understand why You choose messy, broken, sinful and imperfect me to love each day. I never imagined years ago that the path in life I was following would lead me to You but oh I stand amazed and grateful. I want to be so close to You that your desires are my desires, your passions are my passions, and your love is the nutrients that run through my veins and drive me to keep fighting each day. Thank You Jesus for loving me and for redeeming my story. I stand amazed in Your presence, I stand overwhelmed by your peace, I stand in awe of Your goodness, that Jesus You could ever love me.
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