My heart is heavy today for the burdens of this world. Maybe this is what it means to wear the heart of Jesus and to allow the so many hurts of this world to break into the core of your being and really feel how truly broken, empty and messy we are. The more I seek to know about Jesus the more confused I feel at times. Looking at the many hurts of this world and trying to grasp my mind around them I just walk away surrendering because I realize I can't make sense of any of it. I don't think God expects us to understand the things that warrant no understanding. I don't think God expects us to understand unexpected death and disease, children with Cancer, sudden earth shattering tragedies and so much more.
"Why does God allow us to spend so much of life in the heat of battle? Because He never meant for us to sip His Spirit like a proper cup of tea. He meant for us to hold our sweating heads over the fountain and lap up His life with unquenchable thirst" Beth Moore. When our world is turned upside down and our human mind can barely process the pain let alone understand it we uncover a realization and desperation to simply grab ahold of Him for safety and shelter. I don't think God wants us to view the pain in this world with joy or acceptance but instead with a burden and uneasiness so that during those times we will instead seek Him and discover a boldness to steer others to safety also. When we read in the Bible that we should rejoice in our suffering I don't think its the actual suffering He wants us to be joyful about but instead Him in the midst of our suffering.Regardless of how hurt or broken we may be we are reminded that God is still good. The things of this world may be terrible and unfathomable but our God is still loving, Holy, tender, just and all knowing. Man may waiver by the storms we face but God never falters. God knows every delicate and intricate part of our beings and He doesn't expect us to be anything more than broken, messy, hurting, confused people who in the heart of the battle can do nothing more than clench our worn and tired arms around His neck so that He can to carry us through the journey.
When our human understanding runs out and our strength is gone, when we feel empty and desperate its Him we can hold tight to. What I'm learning is that He never wants us to truly "get it" but instead to sit powerless with our hands in the air saying "I need You Jesus." People often question Gods existence bbecause of the senseless hurt in this world and I have come to a point where when I really stop and look at pain and uncertainty in life everyday and the situations that make absolutely no sense I have to in my mind believe there is a God that works all things together for good because if I were to simply say there wasn't then where would my hope come from and whats the point of it all really? I can't deal with life thinking everyday that there is no rhyme or reason for some things and that's just a part of life. I have gone through situations in my life and have watched others experience deep earth shattering hurt and to simply say thats just a part of life and there is no purpose I can't be ok with that. In order for me to face this scary, hurting world each day I have to believe there is a God fighting for me or I might not ever have the strength to face another tomorrow. Each day the more questions we realize we don't have the answers for and the more pieces to the puzzle that just don't seem to fit just emphasizes the immense need we have for Jesus. Instead of trying to find the answers to the hurt my trust is in the Lord.
There is nothing-no circumstance, no trouble, no-testing that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a GREAT PURPOSE, which I may not understand at the moment. As I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret-for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is- that is the rest of VICTORY!!!!
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