Its been a wild ride the past 2 years and although there have been many struggles and difficulties the Lord has always been faithful and has used each moment to shape and mold me into who He wants me to be and to the place I'm at exactly right now. Its hard to share on here and get you to understand the absolute joy and excitment I have for Jesus and this time of my life. When you are touched by the love and power of the Holy Spirit you can't possibly keep that inside and want as many people to know and feel the excitment that you feel. When this happens you come to a point where you are willing to go anywhere and do anything you feel is God driven and apart of His plan. It may not be whats popular it may not be whats comfortable and it may not be what you find as stable, everything around you shows how irrational it is but God is saying "I dont care, I will orchestrate the details you just trust me."
I'm at a place like this right now in my life. A place where I really feel like God is saying to me "I want more from you, I want to do more in you." The hard part though is that it means for me to make a huge life altering change. I struggle with the fact that if the side I feel is comfortable, were really that comfortable and i was really that content with it then why do I have any questions at all??? There is doubt placed in my mind for a reason. I struggle with the part of being comfortable, although it may feel safe do I want to be safe??? Did God put us on this earth to serve Him and spread the gospel only if its "safe." There are ministries all around the country who got to be what they are because they stepped out in faith and decided not to play it safe. Did Beth Moore, Joyce Meyers, Dr. Dobson, World Vision, missionaries in other countries and the list could go on and on get where they are because they played it safe and only went where all the details were set out in front of them? No they got to that point because they agreed to go wherever and do whatever God would call them to do, even if it meant going against the world and going against what was comfortable and logical to them because it was God ordained.
Right now I'm trusting God with this decision in my life. I have come to this place for a reason and am starting to really feel like certain things over the past couple years are starting to all come together and make sense and I can see the reasons behind it all and the place for it ahead and its crazy how much it makes sense and how amazing it all is. 1 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can possibly ever imagine the plans that God has instore for those who love Him." I'm trusting God with this decision, I'm trusting God with my life. I'm pouring out my heart and letting go of whatever fears, insecurrities or anything that may be a hinderence and hold me back from doing the will of God. I'm trusting the unseen and saying "Your will be done God." I'm giving away my control and selfish desires only to fulfill His plans, whatever they may be, whatever it may be doing and wherever that may be I trust in Him alone and don't need to know all the details now, or be completely comfortable in whats ahead but only in Him alone. "You go before me, You shield my way. Your hands uphold me, I know you love me."
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