Father's Day for the Fatherless

"A Father has enormous power. About this, he has no choice. For good or bad, by his presence or absence, action or inaction, whether abusive or nurturing, the fact remains; a Father is one of the most powerful beings on the face of the earth." Ken Canfield

Unless you live under a rock I'm sure you have seen the constant barrage of Father's Day Announcements, sale ads, or reminders. From Bbqs to golf equipment, greeting cards to tools, there is no shortage of gift ideas to express your love and appreciation on Father's Day. For me, Fathers Day is always a bittersweet day each year. I circled and highlighted that special day in my calendar this year but as it approaches I find myself experiencing a whole range of emotions from excitement to sadness. You see that bittersweet feeling I mentioned comes from a place of celebration but also pain. That bitter hurt is because I haven't seen my own father for the last 18 years. When I was 10 my parents were divorced. My father an alcoholic struggled my entire life with his addiction and was in and out of our lives for the next 7-8 years following my parents divorce. I remember the last visit I had with my dad, I was 18 and my sisters and I were so excited to visit him because he had just moved into a new place. We spent the day shopping for things for his house and went grocery shopping filling the carts with junk food and all the ingredients necessary so I could make a nice steak dinner for the 4 of us. We had the best time, we laughed and played but then when night came my dad decided to walk to the bar and drink. That was the last visit I remember with my dad. Its been 18 years since that day and on most days I don't think much about it, but on the big days & milestones in life it's hard not to think about him. The day I married my husband my dad wasn't there to walk me down the aisle. The day my daughter was born my dad wasn't there to meet his grandaughter and has still never met her. I've come to realize over time thought that is not even him I miss anymore but the idea of having a father in my life and yet being reminded that mine isn't that father I imagine or even need.

Now the sweet and beautiful part comes in because the Father I get to witness my husband Scott be to our daughter is absolutely amazing. That's one of my most favorite characteristics of Scott. He works hard to provide for his family yet he still finds time to be invested in Macie's life. He cares about her fears, hopes, dreams and struggles. He instills discipline and hard work and models that each day. He helps to nurture her intelligence and pursue her ambitions. He really cares about her future and helps her to prepare for it now so that someday it will be bright and fruitful. Most of all I see the love that he has for her. A love that is patient, kind, does not envy nor boast. It is not proud, he works hard to honor her and not be selfish or angered easily and in the process he keeps no record of her wrongs. He loves with truth and protects, hopes and perseveres no matter what life throws our way. 

“Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”

‭‭1 CORINTHIANS‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭AMP‬‬

When I first became a follower of Jesus people would talk about Christ as being our heavenly father, but for me I didn't understand right away. "My earthly father abandoned me and let me down over and over and yet your saying my heavenly father never will?" It took me many years to realize that regardless of the way my earthy father had disappointed me and hurt me that my heavenly father never would! As Father's Day approaches maybe your super excited to celebrate your earthly father. Maybe your celebrating a father-in-law or a spouse. Or maybe seeing that day circled on your calendar this week brings sadness or pain because you have lost your father due to death or an experience like mine. Regardless of whichever emotion you are feeling still give yourself permission to feel those feelings. If it's pain and sadness your feeling then allow yourself the grace to grieve that loss, and if it's joy your feeling then allow yourself to burst at the seems in celebration. Be reminded though that through Jesus we can have hope. Through Jesus we can have joy and through Jesus He can redeem all things. Because of Him I never have to experience a Fatherless Father's Day ever again!

His Voice

"The days are long but the years are short." I heard this quote on a movie I started watching today. I started thinking back to the 3 am bottle feedings and the sleepless nights that seems like yesterday, and now Macie is 13. The exhaustion is still very real but its now from running back and forth to one activity or another. I used to think it would get easier as she grew older and then I realized its still chaos but just a different type and season of chaos. I was thinking back to the playdates we used to go to when Macie was a toddler and it never failed someone would always loose their binkie or take a toddler tumble and each time the tot would start crying the moms would all get quiet and get that look on their faces, then only after a moment had passed one of the moms would recognize that it was her child crying.

It's amazing how good parents get at recognizing the sound of their child's voice. At this season of my life I no longer find myself trying to decipher toddler cries at a playdate but it doesn't matter how noisy the gym is during a basketball game or how crowded a store is at the mall, when Macie yells out "Mom" I immediately recognize my child's voice. In our close relationships it's amazing how much we pick up on the other persons voice, the tone and demeanor. If I'm upset about something, Scott immediately knows by the tone in my voice. If Macie has done something to break the "rules" she can immediately tell by my voice. I know you all can relate to what I'm saying whether it be with your spouse, children, friends, co-workers or even pet, but what about when it comes to God's voice? 

There have been times in my life where I felt like I couldn't hear from God. I begged Him to respond and cried out for answers but I felt like He was silent. There were even times when I questioned if God was still there. But if I'm being honest in the times where I struggled to hear Gods voice I had been so distant in my relationship with Him that if He had spoken to me would I have even been able to recognize HIs voice? When I was able to recognize Macie's cry as a toddler it wasn't because the moment she was born a magic genie in a bottle said "poof" and then I was able to decipher her cries, no it took spending so much time with her and learning what her cry sounded like and what each cry meant and why. When we invest our time into reading our Bible and spending time with Him we learn to decipher HIs voice. We learn the tone of HIs voice and the language that He uses to speak to us so that regardless of how many distractions there are around us in life when we call upon Him we can expect an answer and be ready and able to really hear it. 

“The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic. The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon leap like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the Lord shakes the desert; the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, “Glory!””
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭29:3-9‬

It is good........

It is good........

Have you ever had a picture hanging on your wall and regardless of how many times you tweak it, it always seems to be higher on one side or lower on the other side. Every time you walk through the room you slightly raise one corner this way and the other that way and you step back and think for a few minutes it's fixed. However, once again as you walk away and glance back over your shoulder you find it's still not perfect. It drives you crazy and annoys you, it grabs your attention whenever you are near. You feel like its a losing battle, it's exhausting and so instead of just being content with the slightest imperfection of its alignment you revisit and fix it again and again.

You tell yourself, ok, that's good, that's enough, it's finished. But honestly the enemy says otherwise, he interjects in those moments where your heart tries to be content and says "it could always be better, you can always do more and the work is never finished." As I lay in my bed at night the imperfections of my day ring loudly in my ears, I struggle with believing that it really is ok, that it's good and enough. I think of all the ways I have fallen short, I start beating myself up and wondering why can't I just do it right for once. Whether it be a task I'm working on currently, my job as a wife, mom, or friend, even just my ability to handle the circumstances thrown my way for the day it's obvious I could have done better.

Does this sound familiar, do you too struggle with this tug of war battle? We can often be our own worst enemy. We place these unrealistic expectations over our lives and continually tear overselves down when we don't reach them. After talking with a friend last week she challeneged me that each night as I lay my head down on my pillow to really try and be content with my day, to look back over the events that had unfolded and to say "it is good." As we read in Genesis God created the heavens and the earth, the birds and the trees and at the end of each day He said "it is good." He never said, "it's ok I guess but I really should have.........."but He said "it is good."  

Genesis 1:31 (AMP) "And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely." 

I love this translation of Genesis 1:31 because it not only says "it is good" but he said that "He approved it COMPLETELY." He had not one ounce of discontent but was COMPLETELY satisfied. Each day it is our responsibility to live to the fullest, submitting each moment, task and opportunity to the Lord by putting our best effort into all of them, that's it, that's enough and that's ok. It may not always turn out how we had hoped but continuing to beat ourselves up is from the enemy, it's placing this unrealistic expectation over ourselves.

As we read on we find that once God was satisfied with His work He then rested. Genesis 2:2 "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work." 

There are moments where we must passionately peruse the tasks the Lord places before us for the Gospel but there are also moments where we need to allow ourselves to rest in His presence and be satisfied with sitting in His lap instead of tirelessly chasing perfection. God doesn't want perfection, He wants broken pieces placed at His feet with an expectant heart for His love and grace to consume us and fill us.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me all who are burdened and I will give you rest."  

Over the past few weeks there have been things happen that are completely out of our control but yet I still wanted to take fault in them. I still wanted to take responsibility in fixing them and instead of just removing those standards from myself I felt angry that I couldn't just do something about them. I even denied myself the ability to be imperfect, to be broken, to be hurting. I was so badly chasing days 1-6 that I denied myself day 7, a day of rest, a day to melt in His arms and not worry about doing something but just being comforted by the comforter. The thoughts within my head said over and over "why can't you just get yourself together, why can't you fix it, this person would have handled it much better." Instead of reaching out my empty hands and allowing God to use the pieces that were left, instead of it being enough I kept trying to move the edges of the picture just slightly to fix it on my own. I allowed the unanswered parts of our circumstances to pick and nag at me, I struggled to gain control and to just get it right.

I don't know what your facing today, I don't know what responsibilities God has placed in your life but I do know that if your doing your best than it is ENOUGH. As you go to sleep each night, look back over your day and say to yourself proudly, knowing you did it with your entire heart "it is good." Allow your efforts to be approved completely by Him and on the days that you need it the most give yourself the grace to just......REST!

Jesus, we thank you that through You we are enough. We pray that each morning as we face the day that you would work in our efforts, work in our hearts and help us to give our very best and know that through Your eyes "it is good." We pray that in those times where our own expectations try to take over and the enemy tries to drag us down that we would be reminded that You are pleased and proud of us. We commit each effort to You daily God and believe in our hearts that our work is approved COMPLETELY through You. In those times Lord where our hearts are overwhelmed I pray that you would remind us to rest in Your safety and security. We love You Jesus and trust You with this battle today. Amen