The day something changed......

I can’t precisely tell you the day or the hour it happened. It’s not like my wedding anniversary I wear etched on a bronze pendant around I my neck. It’s not circled in red on the calendar or written on an apt card at the bottom of my messy purse, but it should be. Somewhere along the way through the heartache, struggles, exhaustion and discouragement I lost my joy. Not like you lose your car keys or the other sock in the dryer or even your phone because really it’s still there underneath all the “stuff” and baggage, but my joy is gone. Each day instead of putting on my good glasses that help me see the world more clearly, the glasses that help make me aware of the joy and blessings right in front of me I have been putting on my shades. My shades make everything dark and dim and keep me stuck in a blah funk where I stay stuck in my pity party and focus on my suffering and hardships. I want my joy back, I want to live not focused on the things I don’t have or the suffering I am walking through but instead I want to focus on how good God is in the simplest things of everyday life. It's one thing to shout from the rooftops of triumph how great God is and another to proclaim it still in the valley of despair. God is great in the goodness of life, but God is real, raw, personable, tender, loving and sovereign in the not so good too.

“Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering. The converse does. The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world. When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. The clouds open when we mouth thanks" Ann Voskamp

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus”

Today I decided that I cannot live one more day without joy. So I decided to take a challenge with the help of the book “One Thousand Gifts” Each day I am going to make a list of the things in my life regardless of how little or simple they seem and find joy in them. As words of thanksgiving leave my mouth for something good the Lord has provided a stake is being driven down deep into those unhealthy areas where I allowed my joy to be held captive to. 

We may not ever figure out the day or hour I lost my joy but I can say that on May 17^th, 2014 I, Amber Cameron am nailing a stake down and starting a journey to get it back and here is the beginning of my silly, little list:

Little pieces of joy

       Blueberry Candles

       Cuddling

      Take out for dinner

       Our gentle dog snoring